95. Learn How To Bake Red Velvet Cupcakes From Scratch.

Just before Christmas I was wracking my brain trying to come up with gift ideas for Ratty's dad.  I'd bought his mom a Yankee Candle, naturally, but I was having a hard time thinking of ideas for Bob Ratty.  I was well aware that his dad had a soft spot for sweets, so I decided that I'd attempt Number 95 and bake him red velvet cupcakes.  Okay, not really cupcakes, rather red velvet sandwich cookies from Paula Deen, but the batter and frosting are the exact same, so I'm counting it!  Task completed!

Obviously, because I am an awesome daughter, I waited to make these until I came home for Christmas.  I did this mainly for one reason and one reason only, my mom had all the stuff I needed.  I don't have baking powder, or red food coloring, and don't even get me started on a mixer [which has been totally taken care of thanks to Ratty, but remember, this was PRE Christmas gift.]  To me, it made perfect sense to make these at my mom's house, but I thought my mom was going to legit murder me.  As if she didn't have enough work to do, putting together a Christmas eve spread, Christmas morning breakfast spread AND Christmas afternoon dinner spread, her wonderful daughter came home and tore her kitchen to shreds.  No seriously, shreds.  You'll see.

I started off by putting all the dry ingredients in a bowl and BOOM, realized I already made a mistake, and I'd JUST started!  Apparently I was supposed to whip the sugar and butter together, separate from the other dry ingredients, then add them later.  Whoopsie!  If this was any indication of how my baking outing would go, I was in for a long night.  [Cue scary music.]

So because I had inadvertently skipped a step, I just blew through the rest of the instructions and got down to mixing.  By the time I was done, there was red batter EVERYWHERE.  It was on my mom's white curtains, all over my clothes, it honestly looked like someone had been stabbed in the pantry.  Steph was not pleased.

According to the next step in the directions, I was supposed to scoop a little bit of batter onto the sheet tray, creating little perfect, yummy red velvet cookies.  Somehow, and I'm not totally sure how I let this get so out of control, all my cookies merged into one.  It was an entire cookie sheet of batter.  I think it may have been the fact that I sprayed the cookie sheet with Pam, and the sheet was so slick the batter just spread everywhere. It was right about now I locked my mother out of the kitchen.

I poured all the dough back into the bowl, now glistening with it's non stick cooking spray addition, wiped down the cookie sheet and started again.  I'd like to say that my second attempt went a little better, and it did, but Ina Garten I am not.

I let the cookies cool before I cut them out of the pan, and yes, I definitely mean cut.  They were supposed to be on the small side, so I could make them into individual sandwiches, but because they were so ridiculously gigantic, I decided that I'd quarter them to make mini cookies instead.  That was a MUCH better plan.

I made a batch of cream cheese frosting, this went off without a hitch, mostly because my mom supervised i.e. made it while I watched.  I matched up the cookies based on size and shape, they were ALL different so I tried my best to make the sandwich cookies roughly the same shape. I filled them with LOTS of frosting, because that's how I like it and I knew Bob would too.  Plus, with enough yummy frosting, no one would even realize they were poorly constructed.

Then I quartered them and added more frosting to the sides.

I obviously needed more frosting on the sides in order to get as many chopped almonds as possible.  The recipe called for pecans, which would have been equally as awesome, but I think we've learned that I'm apparently not one for following directions.  Did I mention I also forgot to add the vinegar?  Not sure what it was for, but they still tasted amazing without it.  Must have been all that extra Pam.

I then packed them up in a little red Christmas tin with doilies and some of my mom's homemade fudge.  The doilies were my mom's idea, obviously.  And Voila!  It'll be totally easier next time I make them, right?  Just tell me it gets easier.  Especially now that I have my Ina Garten approved standing Kitchenaid mixer.  I'm practically a pro already and it's not even out of the box yet.

For the record, Ratty's dad LOVED them.