62. May 10th, 2010 Picture.

I got this lovely tidbit in the mail a few days ago, but completely forgot about it until I saw the envelope resting on my night stand.  I don't know how frequently these things get sent out accidently, I'm hoping it's all the time, but honestly, how did I even end up on AARP's radar?!  This wasn't like a 'hey, don't forget to remember us in 35 years, when you're ready to start collecting Medicare!' (Dear God, please let there be Medicare for me, or maybe something even better that we don't even know about yet.  OR a winning lottery ticket, like ASAP.  xoxo, Amy.  Amen).

No no folks, this wasn't just a letter in the mail, or a subscription getting sent to the wrong house.  This was a MEMBERSHIP card!  For me!  With my name on it!  I am no where NEAR 60+ even though I kinda sorta act like an old lady sometimes, but that doesn't mean I completely skip to the head of the line.  So what if I really like nougat, and toffee, and I don't like to drink caffeine or coffee too late because I won't be able to sleep?  I enjoy antiquing and have been known to request large print books from the library - it was an ACCIDENT, but once I adjusted my eyes, I actually kinda liked it and read the book super quick.  I'm obsessed with the old school TV show 'Father Dowling Mysteries', so much so I actually dressed up as Sister Steve for halloween when I was 8.  Yes, I was a nun for halloween.  Moving on, give me a 'Murder, She Wrote' or 'Get Smart' marathon and I'll run around my house looking for a blank VHS tape to throw in my VCR to record it.  I've called the police on 'those crazy kids' across the street, and watched happily out the window as the cop came and broke up the party.  They were LOUD!  It's a residential neighborhood and not even the sound of falling rain from my Conair sound machine could drown them out.  I've caught myself starting sentences with 'when I was your age...' and have pretty much skipped straight to that stage where older people say whatever they want because they just don't care anymore.

Everyone knows that I am just an old soul, NOT an old lady, there's a difference.  If asked, I would even tell you that I was an old Jewish woman in a past life, I know it.  Apparently I do weird things that actually have religious meanings in Judaism. When I got chicken pox in the 6th grade, I made my mom put pillow cases over all the mirrors so I wouldn't have to look at my deformed self as I walked around.  It wasn't until after the fact that I was told that this is what Jewish people used to do when someone died, they'd hang things over the mirrors so they wouldn't see their grief.  Oh, I was grieving.  HI!  Old Jewish lady!  I have Deja Vu all the time, and have memories of being places that I know I've never been to.  I don't think I'm going to be on a episode of 'Unsolved Mysteries' anytime soon (oh ya, I really love 'Unsolved Mysteries' too, something about Robert Stacks voice just gets me creeped out), BUT I do think I've been around before.

Anyway, I don't think that any of the above reasons qualifies me for an AARP Membership, but thanks for thinking of me!  I'll get back to you in 2045.